As A Mother, Do You Know? By Coleen Summers
As a Mother, do you know what it's like to fall in love with someone in an instant? In that moment you first see their tiny face, hear that beautiful cry, feel that wonderful warmth and smell that unique 'I'm your baby' smell?
As a Mother, do you know what it's like to wonder how you could have so much love for such a small human being?
As a Mother, do you know how it feels when your baby smiles at you for the first time? Laughs their first laugh? Takes their first step? Starts their first day of school? Writes their name for the first time? Draws their first picture? Reads their first book?
As a Mother, do you know what it's like to to swell with pride when a stranger tells you how polite your child is?
As a Mother, do you know how it feels to be completely in awe of their amazing hugs?
As a Mother, do know what it's like to wonder why you sometimes feel like crying when they say to you, "I love you, Mummy"?
You do? So do I.
As a Mother, do you know what it's like to hear your child scream "Mummy!" and feel your blood run cold?
As a Mother, do you know what it's like to race to catch your child as they collapse to the floor?
As a Mother, do you know what it's like to live in uncertainty because no one can tell you what's wrong with your child?
As a Mother, do you know how it feels to have the term 'Mortality Rate' used in reference to your child?
As a Mother, do you know what it's like to wait in a hospital waiting room while your child undergoes heart surgery, and watch the other parents be called to the Recovery room, while you sit there, still, 45 minutes past the time the doctor's said they would be finished by?
As a Mother, do you know?
I do.
I know what it's like to put my hand on my son's chest every night before I go to bed, just to reassure myself it's still beating.
I know what it's like to feel like crying, simply because I've heard the words "Just 5 more minutes, please, Mum" when I've woken him up in the morning.
I know what it's like to hesitate before going into my son's room when he's slept in, because . . . "What if?"
I know what it's like to see friends lose their babies, their children, and to feel guilty because "There but for the Grace of God, go I."
I know the feeling of despair when my son tells me, "I don't want to wake up in the morning. I want to be with God in Heaven. Then I won't be a heart kid anymore."
I know what it's like to live every single day in uncertainty.
I know what a broken heart feels like.
As a Mother, I know.
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