Saturday 19 September 2015

Brave Warrior

12 months ago, the world lost a star that shone so bright that in the time we all took to shelter our eyes from his brilliance, he was called home to the Angels.

On the 19th September 2014, at just 4 years of age, little Talon lost his battle with Idiopathic Pulmonary Arterial Hypertension.

I am sitting here in my lounge room, trying desperate to think of the right words to honour his memory, and it's hard.  How can I explain to you all the connection I saw between Julian and Talon?  How proud I felt watching my own 14 year old son finally find his own personal hero in a little boy 10 years younger than him?

Should I tell you about the first time I attempted to chat with this shy little human, and how I had to resort to bribery in the form of chocolate brownies?  Should I tell you how he looked at his Mum and Dad as if to say "Who on earth is this woman?  And can I have a brownie?"

Should I tell you about the too short amount of time Jules and Talon visited in the hospital, when they were both admitted on the same ward?  And how Talon finally came out of his shell when Julian found a way to connect with him?  Card tricks.  Clearly my brownies stood no chance again the magic of my own son!

Should I tell you how Julian's attention transformed from a shy little boy to a chatterbox?  How I felt a lump in my throat when he started to show me his fire truck?  How proud I was as a mother when I watched Julian teach him how to grit his teeth and growl "Just do it!" when the nurses had to do a blood test?  The connection I felt with his own Mum, while we watched our soldiers, both big and small, grinning at each other with the same glee only boys can grin with?  You know that cheeky grin I'm talking about.

Should I tell you how Talon's favourite nurse is Julian's favourite nurse?

Or should I tell you how my chest went cold and my heart stopped for a while, only to start pounding so hard I could hear it's echo in my ears when I read the devastating news that Talon had lost his battle, that his too small body had let go of this life?

I'm finding it so hard to find the right words to tell you all how it made me feel to watch him, in that short amount of time, fight with all his heart.  He was such a brave boy and an enormous inspiration to Julian, who said to me when we left the hospital "Mum, he's my hero.  He's so brave.  I've never met anyone like him, I can't wait to watch him grow up.  He reminds me of me at that age."

Talon, thank you.  Thank you for opening your heart to Julian.  Thank you for your friendship with him.  Thank you for being fascinated by Julian's card tricks.  Thank you for helping Julian to remember why he fights IPAH every day.

Thank you for the smile that reached your eyes, lit up the room and brought an answering smile to everyone's lips.

Thank you for showing us what it means to be brave and fight on even when we're too tired to join the battle over and over again.