10 Years Ago To The Day

Julian with his favourite author, John Flanagan

10 years ago to the day, Julian collapsed for the first time at my Nanna’s 80^th Birthday party.  Imagine if you will, the heart-wrenching sound of your first born (and only at the time) wailing at the top of his lungs and as you and your husband race towards the sound you know came from your boy, you see him collapsing in a heap before you can get to him.

“Oh my God, what’s happened?!”  After it’s all settled down, you’re never really sure if you actually yelled those words aloud or in your head.  Hands are fluttering uselessly as your husband scoops him up on the floor and together you bump your way through a gathering of your very large family and head towards the office where your Mum has worked for the last 9 years of your life and see her holding the door open with the phone in her hand, waiting to call the ambulance.  Questions, so many questions are asked by the operator, and after you hear “Call us back immediately if the situation worsens” you’re not even sure you were very coherent when you answered them.

Then, when you hang up you see two concerned women hovering near the door.  If you weren’t so worried and almost in tears it would be a face palm moment.  In your hurry to get to a phone, you’ve raced past two of your Aunties who are registered nurses!  They are quick to come in and check over your boy, and you can slowly see the awareness come back into his eyes.  Your nephew (who was playing next to your son when he started wailing) is in tears waiting to see if he’s okay, so you put your own worries aside to give him a cuddle, reassure him and ask if he knows what happened.  He doesn’t.  No one does.  Julian was simply on a chair at a table when he stumbled down and started crying for us.  

The ambulance comes, and the Ambulance Officers joke around with all of us while they check our 2 ½ year old over.  He looks so tiny on his Daddy’s lap with them kneeling down, putting a stethoscope to his chest and doing their best to coax a smile out of him.  His collapse has been put down to winding himself.  He’s an active boy, perhaps he hit his chest getting up to the table?  It’s possible, and heads are nodding, including ours.  After all, the kids have all been pretty rambunctious, enjoying their own little party with the baby-sitter in the other room.  The ambulance leaves without us, and we go back to enjoying the company of family and waiting until it’s time to cut the birthday cake.

Looking back, I can’t help but wonder what would have happened if we had decided to go to hospital anyway.  Would Julian have been diagnosed earlier?  I don’t believe so.  We had a long journey and a lot of – let’s say ‘disagreements’ – with medical professionals over the next 8 ½ months and it wouldn’t have made any difference if we had gone to hospital then. 

10 years ago to the day, Julian collapsed for the first time and set us on a journey we will never forget.